Happy New Year and I hope your year is starting off well. A new year is known to be the birth of something wonderful and be a rebirth for some. For me, a lot of the changes I would have made I honestly began to implement them last year such as beginning to work out and eating healthy. Also, I have even begun to feel a bit more confident since last year, which was a goal for this year. I honestly can say, that I do feel like a new me however I do not feel as though I changed.
I know you may be confused about how I can make changes, yet I do not feel as though I am new. I really feel as though that I have just grown. Grown from the shy and easily manipulated teenager to someone who can spot mess from far away. I have been the person who was afraid to take chances and honestly, I still struggle with taking certain chances, but honestly, I enjoy pushing through those feelings of taking chances. But I still feel that I am the nerdy girl who enjoys reading books, writing and learning about the subjects I learned. I just feel as though that it is a new year and all I am doing is uncovering who I was meant to be. I feel that I am stepping into the person who I spent so much time burying over the years. And I am enjoying uncovering who that person is. If you believe that it is a new you, that’s awesome. But for me I think that I am just becoming the person I was meant to be. In 2018, I am moving closer to the person who I have been hiding from.
So I have been struggling to write this entry because how does one truly cope with their failures. This is my last road to law school blog. Not because I am completely giving up on the idea of law school, rather my life just took a different path. I was rejected by all the law schools that I had applied to expect for one. That one that I had been accepted to required that I complete a pre-law program, however that would have prevented me from going on a family vacation and would require that I shell out more money. Plus, having more debt was not appealing to me. I did what many of fellow seniors where doing at the time, apply for jobs and hope for a miracle. Once I graduated, I had so much lined up for me. Conferences that had inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and a very relaxing vacation to the Caribbean. It was while on that vacation, that I had met a woman who told me to just take the opportunity. The opportunity she was speaking of was going to graduate school. Some people may seem confused about this, thinking “where did the idea of graduate school come from”. After being rejected by one of my schools, their legal department offered me admission into their masters program. I did not know what to do because I had not even considered doing a masters program. However, I considered this program to be a part of fate because a few months prior (before I even was accepted to the master’s program) someone had told me about rather than only considering law schools try some of the masters programs. Then the woman on the cruise told me to just take the chance and get it done. So on my vacation after putting a lot of money towards the trip, I paid a little bit more for my commitment to graduate school.
I had not believed that I fully committed to graduate school until it was time to register for classes. The main reason was that I had barely believed that I just graduated from undergrad. Describing my emotions prior to that moment would be: surreal. Graduating from college and not knowing what comes next leaves one in a position where they are unsure about certain things. That purgatory feeling was what I felt leading up to graduation. That I was in this constant state of what happens next. From being in a purgatory mindset, I have come to learn that, sometimes one has to walk through an uncomfortable stage in life to get to be where they are supposed to be. That space will be uncomfortable and when one arrives at the destination the person may be confused, but if they go with the flow incredible things begins to happen. To the person reading this who may not know what to do in life, just know when one door closes another one will open.
Note: I will now begin to post more consistently. Every Friday I will post about my life and experiences.