Trusting Myself

Even though I have only been in graduate school for a few months and will be wrapping the program up in May, once of the most important lessons I learned is that I have to trust myself more. For most of my life, I have struggled with trusting my intuition and being organized on the inside. However, I have learned that graduate school has its own category and the mechanisms you once used for undergraduate, does not work for graduate school. Trying to find new ways of handling things has been challenging. I honestly wish I could say it was easy for me to find a way to cope. I am a few months away from completing my program and I still have no clue of how to manage everything I am doing. When changes happen so rapidly in your life, people expect for you to flow with the changes easily. However, that is not always the case. It can be hard to figure out what your next step is, especially when you spent so much time doubting yourself. However, I can say once you begin to step away from your work and just take a breath, trusting yourself can be a little bit easier.

Since I am in my last semester in graduate school, I can honestly say no I have not completely trusted myself during this process. And I have stayed in bed many times when I knew I should have been using my time to complete new task. I should know by now that if I choose to stay in bed or even lay down for a minute, then the likelihood of me getting up to do my work was none. I need to have trust in the fact that I am in this graduate program to help mold me into the professional I know I  am meant to be. I need to trust myself to get up, get out of bed and do what I must do. Even if I do not have the right motivation, I know that I am worth putting effort into something. my advice to anyone reading this is, trust yourself to know that everything you do is for a reason and provides a lesson. Even if the lesson sucks, it was needed to help build the trust inside of you.

Trusting myself

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New Year, New Me?

Happy New Year and I hope your year is starting off well. A new year is known to be the birth of something wonderful and be a rebirth for some. For me, a lot of the changes I would have made I honestly began to implement them last year such as beginning to work out and eating healthy. Also, I have even begun to feel a bit more confident since last year, which was a goal for this year. I honestly can say, that I do feel like a new me however I do not feel as though I changed.

2018         I know you may be confused about how I can make changes, yet I do not feel as though I am new. I really feel as though that I have just grown. Grown from the shy and easily manipulated teenager to someone who can spot mess from far away. I have been the person who was afraid to take chances and honestly, I still struggle with taking certain chances, but honestly, I enjoy pushing through those feelings of taking chances. But I still feel that I am the nerdy girl who enjoys reading books, writing and learning about the subjects I learned. I just feel as though that it is a new year and  all I am doing is uncovering who I was meant to be. I feel that I am stepping into the person who I spent so much time burying over the years. And I am enjoying uncovering who that person is. If you believe that it is a new you, that’s awesome. But for me I think that I am just becoming the person I was meant to be. In 2018, I am moving  closer to the person who I have been hiding from.