Can a Destination Change You?

Last week I returned from Belize. I honestly had one of the best weeks of my life. Belize is my fourth country that I traveled solo too, but there was something different about this trip. Prior to me going to Belize I knew this trip was going to be different and to be completely honest it was. The question that I am going to attempt to answer is “can a destination change you”. If you look at travel bloggers you will find that many of them have gone to many places and have “found themselves”. In my case, every time I have traveled to another country I felt the real me coming out. I see the confidence and me wanting to try so much more. Plus, I enjoy the energy rush that comes. But what I have been thinking is have I changed, or is the true Khadijah coming out?

woman wearing white long sleeved gown holding bouquet
Photo by Godisable Jacob on Pexels.com

Personally, I think thus far growth has occurred on every trip for me. I feel more connected and centered and have a better understanding of what I want to do with my life. The hardest part then becomes when I return, will I follow through? But Belize for me felt different. In that country i was tested like no way before and I tried so many things I never thought I would do as a solo traveler such as night life (Note: there are plenty of solo female travelers who do night life, it just was not for me at the time). I swam with fish and felt happier than ever. Now that I am back I can honestly say that Belize has empowered me to be able to trust my intuition when I feel things are off and to trust that my feelings about people are right. Have I changed, a little. Is the me I have been suppressing coming out, most definitely and I love it.
I encourage you to go somewhere new whether its domestically, internationally, locally or even to a new street near by to see if you change in that destination or even the process of getting there. Please feel free to share if a destination has helped change you or even the process. No matter what, don’t forget to smile.

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Talk and Chill

action child children city
Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

Breaking a cycle is difficult, however it is truly necessary because for us to truly grow. Apart of true growth, I consider being able to talk to someone you may have not been able to talk to in the past, without feeling hurt. Now, I am not promoting talking to toxic people. In this case, this person has truly helped me to grow in more ways than one. Usually, we would never really have time to sit around and talk because we had a lot of things going on. But this week I am glad that me and he had the chance to sit down in a park and just talk for over 2 hours. The reason I would say this is breaking a cycle is because as a society we have been accustomed to just talking to people on our phones or on the computer. It felt nice to sit outside in the cool temperature and just talk about life and have great laughs. Even though some people may have been annoyed from the laughter, one cannot live their lives according to what others want. I am challenge anyone reading this to get a friend, go outside on a nice day and just have a conversation. The conversation can be about anything, but we must do more than just being on screen or instant messaging friends.

To the Love of My Life

If you have been reading my blogs all February, then you know that I have been discussing love especially self-love and while in graduate school. This entry will be a bit different because I want to write a letter to the love of my life. But this letter is not necessarily to the person I hope to spend the rest of my life with (it could be though) but rather to my future self. Some may find this strange, but know that if you do not have unconditional love for yourself, then nobody will fully love you the way you deserve.

dear love of my life Geralt

Dear Love of My life,

I would like to first say that you are truly an amazing person. You have truly stuck by myside when there was less than $5 in my bank account several times. Rather than  give up and tell me to stay in bed you encouraged me to not look at this as though this were my destination rather my first bump on a road to greatness.

I thank you for loving me during the times when I was at my lowest crying in my colleges bathroom because I did not know what to do about all the work piling up. I thank you for being next to me at my lowest moment when I would cry about how I would earn money and obtain experience while studying in an accelerated program. Rather than walk away, you sat next to me and reminded me that I had a great deal to accomplish. You me told that  all of the great things I wanted to do, I needed to take things one step at a time.

You taught me that I was beautiful. For the longest time, I did not like looking at myself in the mirror and always believed that I was not attractive because I had a larger stomach than most. You taught me that no matter my size that I was still amazing and can still dress in away that made me look appealing to myself. Also, you reminded me that if I am find myself beautiful is all that matters. Even when I was sick and felt a wreck, you showed me the strength deep down.

The most important lesson you taught me was no matter if I went to graduate school or choose to get a job straight out of college that I was still amazing. You showed me that my confidence was never lost rather hidden for the right moment. You taught me to always protect my peace and energy, while reminding me that not everyone deserves to be near my radiant spirit.

In sickness and health. Richer or poorer. To death do us part. I promise to love and commit myself to you in a way no one would ever imagine. If I am growing, no one can ever take you from me because with each passing day we are coming together as one.

 

If you read this letter i hope that it helped you. Remember that your first love of your life is yourself. When you show unconditional love for yourself the right person will come to you.

 

Please feel free to like and comment.

Photo from Gearlt on pixaby

 

Back to School

I am excited to say that this week had my last first day of formal education. When I say formal education, I mean in terms of getting up daily to go to school and doing homework for teachers.  I will forever be a lifelong student because I enjoy reading leisurely about topics that will help to grow my mind, body and spirit. It is honestly a bitter sweet moment realizing that is my last first day of school.

back to school pic          School in general has taught me a variety of lessons. Those lessons ranged from the importance of knowledge, the power of connections and the significance of stepping outside of your comfort zone. However graduate school thus far has taught me the importance of truly stepping into who you are meant to be. This task I have always suffered with because I was constantly burying who I was due to pressure from others and from a fear of constantly being disliked. But this one year graduate program has really taught me thus far to step into who I was meant to be and to never let fear stop me. When we silence the fear inside of us, it allows for people to be able to complete their true desires. Some of my desires were going to the gym, but I had a fear of people potentially judging me about it. But while in school, I decided I wanted to feel good and eat better. By doing these things it taught me an important lesson of I can still care about my physical well-being without sacrificing for my educational well-being. Even if we cannot silence the fears completely, we should keep going with hopes realizing that life is about taking a fear and making the best out of a situation

Since I am going into my final semester currently, I have finally created a schedule that would work best for me and I am excited to see where this semester will take me. Even though I graduate in May and do not have much time, I know that I can accomplish all that I desire to do and have the skills from school to conquer them. So, cheers to the last semester …. Well may be for now😊

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New Year, New Me?

Happy New Year and I hope your year is starting off well. A new year is known to be the birth of something wonderful and be a rebirth for some. For me, a lot of the changes I would have made I honestly began to implement them last year such as beginning to work out and eating healthy. Also, I have even begun to feel a bit more confident since last year, which was a goal for this year. I honestly can say, that I do feel like a new me however I do not feel as though I changed.

2018         I know you may be confused about how I can make changes, yet I do not feel as though I am new. I really feel as though that I have just grown. Grown from the shy and easily manipulated teenager to someone who can spot mess from far away. I have been the person who was afraid to take chances and honestly, I still struggle with taking certain chances, but honestly, I enjoy pushing through those feelings of taking chances. But I still feel that I am the nerdy girl who enjoys reading books, writing and learning about the subjects I learned. I just feel as though that it is a new year and  all I am doing is uncovering who I was meant to be. I feel that I am stepping into the person who I spent so much time burying over the years. And I am enjoying uncovering who that person is. If you believe that it is a new you, that’s awesome. But for me I think that I am just becoming the person I was meant to be. In 2018, I am moving  closer to the person who I have been hiding from.

 

Push Through Hard Times

 

Have you ever heard of the expression, everything happens for a reason? Over this pass year, I have experienced many tough times. I lost my wallet in Canada. My flash drive broke during finals. My kindle got stolen. These are the top three. I can honestly say that after each of these incidents I was devastated and did not know how I was going to handle each of these problems because I did not know what to do. However, at the end of those moments, I learned so much about myself.  The key lesson I learned was when things go wrong, it is time to go to the next level. The next level is always uncomfortable, requires elevation and not something one wants to do when everything seems to fall apart, but it is necessary to be the person you are meant to be.

When I lost my wallet in Canada, I was devastated. It was the winter and I fell into the snow crying about what happened, I did not care that I my jeans got ruined. I lost everything from my home keys, my school ID, my debit card, my gift cards and so much more. Thankfully the bus system allowed for me to get back to where I was staying and the person I was staying with gave me a few dollars to be able to make it during the rest of my stay. I did cry and before I asked for help from the person I was staying with, I had to make the decision of if I would complain or finish my trip. Many people in my predicament would have given up, but I could not. I chose to finish my trip. Thankfully my bank had a branch in Canada and I could transfer some money over to the bank in Canada. From losing my wallet in another country, I learned to push through and never let anything stop a trip. I became a stronger person and decided that nothing, including losing my money and identification, would prevent me from completing a task.

Push Through
How i went to bed after losing my wallet

When my kindle was stolen and my flash drive broke, I learned the overall lesson twice. With my kindle, someone came in to my home and took it. But on my kindle I had a lot of things on there that was not contributing to my advancing myself. As for my flash drive, I had always left it in my laptop as I carried it around, but this time the drive hit a wall and the piece where you insert into the computer got twisted. This flash drive had all my information and papers since high school. Including all my work from my entire first semester of graduate school and all the blog entries I had ever written. Thankfully, all of my papers had been submitted at this point except for one which I procrastinated and had not finished. I made many attempts to try and get the drive fixed, however it would be upwards of a $1,000. From this I took it to be a sign that it was time to upgrade my storage because I am going to have more task ahead. Unfortunately, my resume information was on there, all that means is I have the chance to begin something new. After these two incidents, I decided to be the person I was meant to be by making lemons out of lemonade. I replaced my kindle and filled it with books that would help better myself. As for my flash drive, thankfully I had an extra one laying around, but I decided to upgrade and get an external hard drive.

 

Push through photo 2
Be the best you even when things go wrong

From these experiences, I learned that sometimes bad things can happen, however it’s how you react to them that determines your next move. I choose to cry and be sad, but then I must fix it and learn a valuable lesson. From Canada, I learned the importance of moving forward despite losing something major. From losing my kindle and damaged flash drive I learned that material things can always be replaced, but to always take the lesson with you of either having several back-ups,  to not take anything for granted, and smile when things get tough.

No Dating For One Year

Throughout my life I have never chosen the right man nor has the right guy chosen me. According to many people, that is how one get to find their prince charming by going through several wrong ones to get to the right one. Honestly, I have been going through the wrong guys since I was fourteen, when I believed I had found the one. He was my first “real boyfriend” and I loved him. But he told me he did not love me anymore. I was devastated, but I never gave up on finding my prince charming.
The final guy that I tried to have a serious relationship with, who honestly inspired this change, made me feel as though everything was my fault. He would constantly accuse me of lying or cheating on him. We had not been together long but he always made me feel as though I was sick or I was lower than him. I honestly never felt so low in the month of getting to know him. When it ended, I was honestly shocked for about half a day and decided to move on. Then a week later I was depressed and did not understand why I was attracting guys who were not what I deserved or wanted. That’s when the idea occurred to me that it’s not them, but its me. The reason why I say it was me because I saw the red flags of their actions and yet I ignored them. I knew that things would not change and yet I hopped they would. So, I decided to make a change for the better. I made the decision to not date for a year. This means no dating apps and if a guy asks me out on a date I must decline. If a guy were to ask me for my number then I can give it to him, but once it starts crossing into the potential dating scene then I must tell him that I am not pursing a relationship at this time. I have now been doing this for almost four months and I have learned so many things about myself. Here are the four things I have learned thus far during these four months.
1. The strength of my intuition: I have always ignored the little voice in me because I thought at times she would be wrong. Quite the contrary, the bad feeling or little voice was always right when I needed it to be. I always wanted to see the best in people, when my intuition was telling me to run. Since choosing not to date, I have learned to get fully connected with my intuition and begin to heal the abuse that I gave that little voice by constantly silencing it. I now fully understand how powerful that voice can be and the great impact it can make.
2. I’m unique: I know many people may think, well so am I. However, the uniqueness I am referring to are the things that make me different. I have always tried to compare myself with others and it has constantly failed me. Over these past four months, I realized that I am beautiful in my own way and the things that I was ashamed of people wished they had. By accepting me for me, it helped to unleash a great amount of confidence that I did not realize that I possessed.

No dating for a year pic
3. I am in control: Throughout my dating life I have always dated guys that could be at times manipulative. When I decided to be single four years ago I wanted to take back control of me. However, I did not take control back until four months ago because I was not making myself a priority. Yea I was living my life, but for most of that four years, I was hoping to find a man that would be my missing piece. I was only taking control of a portion of my life. Now I have a grasp on my entire life. I am living it for myself and not allowing people or a man try to take a portion of it. I’ve learned a man who truly wants the best for you will add, not take away and destroy.
4. The importance of change: change is honestly the hardest part of life I have had to deal with. However, it is essential. By choosing not to date, I’ve made several changes. I started wearing contacts, going to the gym and going out by myself to enjoy my life. Even though in the past I have gone out alone, the difference is I do not get the feeling of I wish I had a boyfriend. I did all this for me and no one else. I have lost some people along the way, but I gained so many more. I am happy, which is all that matters at the end of the day.
This has been my journey for the past four months and I am enjoying it. My advice to anyone reading this is do what makes you happy no matter what anyone says. Be sure to smile and be magic