I have a confession to make. I have always been afraid
of heights. Yet I enjoy traveling and taking a plane. However, considering
recent events I wanted to talk about airplane troubles. I know that people fear
planes especially since it is not an easy evacuation because you are too high
up. As I continue to pray for the families of those affected, something is
telling me to encourage people to still travel. Continue to research on the air
crafts, buses and trains and decide with what ever you are comfortable with.
However, please do not let an accident prevent you from living out your dreams.
I remember recently I went to go spend time with a friend in Florida and me and
so many others felt the plane just drop. We never got an explanation about what’s
going on. I know that it can truly be discouraging to see stories like that and
continue to either travel or pursue your dreams, however if we are always afraid,
we will never do the things we want. Honestly when I load an airplane I still
worry about things happening, however I just must trust everything will work
out. I encourage you to travel or even pursue your dreams in faith and smile.
Travel tip: Travel in faith. Even when things seem
like they are going wrong, trust everything will work out for the best.
Maya Angelou said “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”. I truly love this quote by Maya Aneglou because it truly represents everything that I am going through with my weight loss journey. All of my life I have always neglected losing weight because I believed that I could always put it on the back burner. I will admit that overtime I did try to lose weight and dedicate myself to the process however an emotional toll would take over me and I would begin to over eat again and never care to try again. So, in the beginning of my semester of graduate school, I made a crucial and life changing decision. I decided that for one year I would put myself first. I started my making a list of things where I was neglecting myself. The three things that I wrote on a post it notes was: my weight, my appearance and my emotional health. Thinking back on when I was trying to work on my weight, I was not doing it for me. I was doing it for others, just so they would leave me alone about it. Each of these three things I work on daily, however this blog entry is specifically about my weight. Here are four things that I am doing to keep me going:
- Not looking at the number- this has honestly always been the problem when thinking of my weight loss. I always focused on the number on the scale or the numbers on the treadmill. I was obsessed with those numbers. Now, I am more focused on how I feel and if I am happy. By choosing to not focus on the number, the weight came off easily. I’m still not close, to my ideal weight, but I will not obsess over that number, rather enjoy the journey and gain lifelong habits.
- Being ok if I stay- when I tried to lose weight in the past, I would always get upset when I was not fully committed to my process. However, I soon learned that if I did better the next day or hour than I could carry along as before. Mistakes happen. Sometimes set backs are away for you to learn, and develop new habits.
- Changed my attitude- along this journey, I have learned that it does not help to be upset when things are not as good as they seem. The best solution is to smile and remind myself that I am still amazing and beautiful. My typical attitude would always have me being sad when things did not go my way. But now, I decided to smile and be happy for the little things. (I still must work on smiling when in public)
- Forgiveness-this part has honestly been the hardest because it requires some heart work. For me, forgiveness required me to be at peace with the fact that I will make mistakes and over eat at times or even when I become sad when I do not lose the weight I want. I now understand that no matter how much I mess up, I can still pull through and do better each day.
In conclusion, body happiness is when not only your attitude changes, but you appreciate your body the way it is because the body is beautiful with every stretch mark, layer of fat, with every curve or none. Be appreciative of it and always smile because this is my journey and no one can take that from me.
I meant to publish this blog a few weeks ago, however, this piece was incredibly hard to write. The reasoning being is how does one say goodbye to people who they had great memories with and many laughs with. Also, who at times you loved. How does one part with the smiles that have pushed you for more. I realized you do not say goodbye, rather you say thank you and still hold those people is friends in heart.
Dear Friends in Heart,
I hope if your reading this that you are in good spirits. I am not writing this letter out of hate or frustration. Rather from a place of love and growth. Time has decided that we were not meant to carry on together. Our paths were meant to cross for a reason, however my instincts are telling me that it is time to part ways. Even though I have tried to fight it for some time, it has been inevitable to fight the feeling of letting go. I have truly enjoyed our good moments and have cried over our bad times. But despite it all, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for the lessons that you have provided. Thank you for all the laughs and tears. The tears have taught me how strong I truly am and was truly cleansing for the soul. Thank you for helping me to realize where my true problems were and helped me to realize what they are. Because you helped to uncover my scars, I am in the process of truly healing them. Thank you for helping me to uncover my courage and helping me to reconnect with who I used to be. Also, thank you for teaching me how to protect myself and realize that I had the power in me. Especially, since for so long I believed that someone else was in control and that I could not get my power back. Because of you, I realize my worth. Realizing my worth was the best thing that happened and you are to thank for that. I hold no bad feelings towards you because the pain I felt is gone. I know that some of the pain will linger, however I now have the tools to handle the pain and most importantly the will to heal. But the most valuable feeling that I gained from us parting is learning to love myself. So, my friend in heart, this is not goodbye, rather us maturing and taking different paths. I am grateful for you and you will forever be a friend in my heart.
Forever Peace and Love
So I have been struggling to write this entry because how does one truly cope with their failures. This is my last road to law school blog. Not because I am completely giving up on the idea of law school, rather my life just took a different path. I was rejected by all the law schools that I had applied to expect for one. That one that I had been accepted to required that I complete a pre-law program, however that would have prevented me from going on a family vacation and would require that I shell out more money. Plus, having more debt was not appealing to me. I did what many of fellow seniors where doing at the time, apply for jobs and hope for a miracle. Once I graduated, I had so much lined up for me. Conferences that had inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and a very relaxing vacation to the Caribbean. It was while on that vacation, that I had met a woman who told me to just take the opportunity. The opportunity she was speaking of was going to graduate school. Some people may seem confused about this, thinking “where did the idea of graduate school come from”. After being rejected by one of my schools, their legal department offered me admission into their masters program. I did not know what to do because I had not even considered doing a masters program. However, I considered this program to be a part of fate because a few months prior (before I even was accepted to the master’s program) someone had told me about rather than only considering law schools try some of the masters programs. Then the woman on the cruise told me to just take the chance and get it done. So on my vacation after putting a lot of money towards the trip, I paid a little bit more for my commitment to graduate school.
I had not believed that I fully committed to graduate school until it was time to register for classes. The main reason was that I had barely believed that I just graduated from undergrad. Describing my emotions prior to that moment would be: surreal. Graduating from college and not knowing what comes next leaves one in a position where they are unsure about certain things. That purgatory feeling was what I felt leading up to graduation. That I was in this constant state of what happens next. From being in a purgatory mindset, I have come to learn that, sometimes one has to walk through an uncomfortable stage in life to get to be where they are supposed to be. That space will be uncomfortable and when one arrives at the destination the person may be confused, but if they go with the flow incredible things begins to happen. To the person reading this who may not know what to do in life, just know when one door closes another one will open.
Note: I will now begin to post more consistently. Every Friday I will post about my life and experiences.