Cycles

I am in a stage in life where people are asking me questions I honestly do not have the answer to what you want to do with the rest of your life. Apparently saying I want to marry rich and life off a yacht is not the appropriate answer. Some days I am sure you feel the same way. No one ever tells you that after you graduate that you can sometimes get into a cycle of go to work, come home and watch tv or go out with friends. I don’t mind being with my friends, but I am not ok with “cycles”. To me cycles are circles that we get into and like a true circle it can be hard to break out of without will power. And for the past couple of weeks I have been, unfortunately, I have been a part of that circle. Well, that stops today. For the next couple of weeks, I am breaking the cycle. Each week, I will do something that I would not typically do. I not saying I will climb Mount Everest in a week (maybe in a few). But I do not want to fall into the post graduate school cycle of just applying to jobs and being home. So I hope you stay along for the journey, like, subscribe, share below how you came out of a cycle and be sure to smile at life’s moments

Doing Something that Scares You

In less than twenty-four hours I am supposed to give a chat to a room of over fifty people. I am honesty not prepared because in true school fashion I have been procrastinating. But I think the reason I am scared to pursue this speaking engagement is because even when I prepare in advance I still do not feel prepared to speak. Speaking for me has been hard because people have always tried to keep me quiet and up until recently that has always worked. When it comes to speaking willingly, it can be hard because when you are used to someone constant silencing you, it’s hard at times to speak up for something that is concerning to you. At least for me it is. However, I have found that when one is passionate about the topic or subject that they are speaking on it can be a bit easier to talk about. I am not 100% sure if talking about something you are passionate about in front of over fifty makes it easier especially if it’s your first speaking engagement.

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Sometimes you just have to jump

I always keep in mind when I’m scared one important lesson I have learned throughout my life. That lesson is: sometimes one must operate in fear. Fear can be paralyzing and can sometimes make you want to hide in a corner. However, when you decide to take that jump while your still afraid, it not only gives you a different feeling, it allows you to understand what you are truly capable of. I know many people who will say not to operate in fear, however sometimes that’s what you must do to get to your next level.
If you are reading this entry right now, just know its ok to operate in fear. You will learn several great lessons about yourself and the world. Just remember to smile in the moment. Even if you’re just laughing in the moment can help to release some of the pressure. Doing that can truly put somethings in to perspective.
Please feel free to like and comment if you have ever done something that scared you and how you felt afterwards.

Picture from pixaby

Timing

Sometimes time has a way of teaching us that we must think certain things through or appreciate things. Prior to writing this blog I had no idea of what to write. I had been writing for almost the past year about graduate school and my life and I know that I am meant to do so much more. The past few weeks without writing has made me understand why timing is so important. I was not sure about sharing this story but it may help someone other than myself.
About a week ago, I was out with a friend and we were sitting by the water and there was a girl who looked like she was going to jump. However, many people sat like that at this place so I didn’t think nothing about it. As we were preparing to leave, the girl reached out and asked if she could just talk to us. Naturally I said sure because she seemed sad. So, I let her talk for 30 minutes or so and helped her find a few resources. I hope that what I said to her helped. But the reason I say this is because I wonder what could have happened had I not been there at that time. Or had I not realized at a certain time that writing for me has always been my missing piece.
So if your reading this know you are reading this at this time for a reason. Know that everything happens for a reason. Even when things get rough and you feel that you cannot go on and complete a task, know that your feelings are valid at that moment and it serves a purpose. Be sure to smile at that moment too, because someone may need it.
Please feel free to like and post below what if you have ever felt timing in life has played a role in your life.

Post Graduate Feelings

At the time of the publishing of this blog I will have been out of graduate school for almost a month. While I am true proud of this accomplishment, there is something missing. I am starting to feel like I did when my first semester was going; alone. I know many people will say that being alone is a part of the process and that it is often necessary in order to achieve what you need to do, which to an extent I agree with. But its late at night when you want someone to talk to but no one is there. Someone who I could just rant to for a few hours. It’s hard to get a person, when you are often the person people come to. For some reason my mind goes back to the night when I was crying on the bed and could barely finish my assignment and all I could do was cry. I feel the same way post-graduation. I am starting to believe that there is a void that I have been trying to fill. However, what I have been trying to feel the void with are not the best for my energy levels. I was just happy to fill it with anyone who came my way but honestly quality is better than quantity. I will try to fill the void with great experiences and fun people. Sometimes while I talk to those new people, I may release those negative feelings. Not temporary people but people who care and love me for me. But not forget to enjoy my own company and dance the night away. That what I challenge you to do; dance the night away and know that the rough patch will soon pass.

I Messed Up

Through out life we can often hold ourselves up to certain expectations and it hurts us when we do not honor those commitments to ourselves. As many people know through my blog post that I had decided to go a year without dating. The primary reason for this decision was to focus on school. Well I started to date and my one year is not officially over yet, which I am disappointed in myself in. However, through breaking this commitment to myself, I have learned that I am much stronger in getting rid of guys that are obviously not for me (I have fallen for certain guys like this before). But I have been attracting guys who treat me like the queen I am. However, I have realized that there is always a reason that we mess up and it’s for the lesson. The lesson I learned from going back on my year of dating is the importance of showing people how you want to be treated. Since I was a teenager, I have always just assumed that if I treat people good, they would treat me good. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way many times that that not everyone believes in treating others kindly. Therefore, it is important to show others how you deserve to be treated. If they cannot get with the program of how you deserved to be treated then there is no need for them to be in your life.

One of the most crucial lessons I learned was that being myself is the best person to be. I honestly used to be more reserved and just allow people to treat me any certain way. Now, I understand the power of standing up for myself and not being afraid to say what I need to say. Also, I realized that my intuition and energy levels are always right. If my energy feels off with a person, I now have no problem with letting them go. If my intuition says run, then I need to start running, My intuition has never lied to me once, therefore I have my trust in that feeling. So even though I did not completely finish my year, I know that I can achieve great things without a significant other, and that its ok to take time to heal and be focused on yourself.

So go forth, be great and smile. Also, what are some things that you have to do/ or have done to get refocused? Please comment, like and subscribe.

What Now?

Now that I have graduated from graduate school that question I have to ask is, “what is next”. I am at the stage where I am supposed to be getting a full-time job and trying to find that fancy apartment and living the cosmopolitan lifestyle. Then I would be getting ready to get married and have a family. But my question is why do I need to have that lifestyle. All of my life, I have been given this idea of how I should want my life. But what if I don’t want that vision. What if I just want to travel the world or move to Thailand.

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Living the life i want in Cuba

What happens if I just want to start a business in Belize and eat a crazy meal in Australia. Do I even want to be married and in a committed relationship (I actually do because I hate dating) . But why am I expected to live my life according to what people want. I know that I need money to do what I need to do, but why is the only way of getting money is to hustle, pay off debt and barely live my life. I do not want to be 30 still paying off debt and not truly living my life. Honestly, I could pay off all my debt and die the second the collectors get the money. I have no desire to live the pay bills and keep it moving lifestyle. In college many students go with the motto of “no regrets”. Well for the rest of my life, my goal is to live with no regrets. I do not want to look back on my life and wish that I had gone to the Philippines. I want to know that I took a risk and even though in the moment of that risk I was terrified of the what ifs but, always know I can push myself when needed. Will the risk go well, who knows but I will forever know that I will never have the question of what if in the back of my mind. My advice to anyone who does not know what to do now is to take a chance and just do it. By taking action, you will learn, grow, and smile, which in life is crucial to making the best of each moment.

A Letter to the Graduates

Dear  anyone who is graduating from an educational institution,

First, I want to say congratulations on all your accomplishments. No matter where you are graduating from I am truly happy for all your achievements. Also, less not only congratulate only the college graduates but also the, people graduating from trade school. Sometimes we can forget to acknowledge all the different types of graduates not only the high school and college.

During graduation, it seems as though that in that moment everything we worked for is worth it. All the late nights, tears and procrastination were worth it to walk across the stage and to see the smiles on the ones we love faces. At that moment everything seems perfect. However, this letter is to address the days after we walk.

The days after we walk, we are still excited and glowing in joy. Many people expect you to have a plan and to know your next five steps. Honestly sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t. But soon after we start to realize that now it’s time to the “right thing”. Which for most people is getting a job or for some taking a trip through Europe. If you do not have a plan out of graduation, its ok. Take your time and begin where you need to begin. Never forget your worth. That does not mean that when you first graduate from college/ high school/ trade school that you will be earning six figures, very rarely does that happen. And that’s ok. Its ok to start from the bottom and make your way to the top. Sometimes if you change positions to get ahead or a higher pay that’s ok. Also applying to thing’s you think you may not be qualified for is ok as well. Sometimes we can short sell ourselves which can prevent opportunities, but always take advantage of all the opportunities that come your way. Even if they seem scary they may take you to an unexpected place.

Down the line, things may start to take longer than other people, however do not compare yourself. When you compare yourself, you lose your self. Losing yourself is the worst thing you can do because it takes a long time to re find yourself. Even though life is about uncovering who you are, you want to keep moving forward and not regress. Remember your time is your time and you will shine.

There will be times when you look at your bank account and you want to pass out, but know that money will come because your dream job/ business will begin to come when you walk the path. But still experience life via the free things and spending time with the ones you love. Time goes by so fast, make sure you take advantage of it.

 

Once again congratulations and I wish you nothing but the best. Remember to be in the moment and continue down your path.  Also, don’t forget to smile.

 

Sending love and best wishes,

 

Khadijah