Learning to Let Go and Live

Has there ever been a person in your life where you wanted to hold on to them? You may have wanted to hold on to them to try hold on them or even try to bring them along with you on your journey, however that person would drift further apart from you. Then you start to think of the things that you may have been doing wrong and after some reflection you realize certain things. Some of those things are that you have been giving your energy and time to that person, only to realize it has fell on deaf ears. The most crucial thing you realize is that you realize you pour so much into that other person, that sometimes you have lost yourself. That’s when you must learn to let people go.

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From Pixaby

2018 has truly been the year where I have learned that I must learn to let people go and begin to live my life. This year has been filled with several people that in the past I had put my life on hold hoping that some people would go to the next level with me. However, that never happened. Usually they would use me and stop talking to me. I had to meditate on this issue and came up with this simple sentence “Let go and live”. These four words are what I am going into 2019 with. I am letting go of the people who do not value me, and I am living it up with people who do. If, I live each day to fullest I am happy. As long as, I am surrounded by people who match my energy and want to live life to the fullest, then I consider that to be a great time. Letting go can truly be hard. It takes time and patience, but the person you grow to be from letting is the person you often dream about. Continue to let go, live and smile.

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Travel For Life?

Recently I have been seeing so many post about people traveling for life and how rewarding it is. Also, it is supposed to be a life changing experience due to so many reasons. I am a firm believer that you should always do what makes you happy. Often, I have been asked would I travel for the rest of my life. The answer to that is a simple yes because as I have said in my post, Hit the Road of Have a Family, that I would like to travel with my future husband and children. However, when I hear the phrase travel for life, I do not limit it to going to a new place rather just going through life. Travel is defined, according to google, is make a journey, typically abroad. Just looking at the first part of the definition saying “make a journey” to me is correlated with what life is.

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Life is always about creating your best experience. So why not make a journey of creating your best life experiences? Plus, even though life always has some amazing destinations, however it is in the journey where we learn the most. Even though the rough patches can cause you to question what your doing. It’s during those rough patches that I learn how capable of tough situations I really am. At the end of the day I say “travel for life” and enjoy the journey since we never know where the road ends and remember to smile during the journey.

Old Friend

This week an old friend of mine reappeared. To many people that may not be significant, however to me it’s usually a test that I always tend to fail. I always fail this test because I always believe that the people from my past often come back to test me to see if I have grown. Then after a few months I realize that I am in the same predicament that I was in during the time we were talking. I always wonder what I did wrong?

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When this person returned, a thought from Maya Angelou came to mind; “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”. This old friend has taught me patience, but also showed we that who someone truly cares they won’t leave you, even if you block them. Someone who truly wants to be there will always find a way back to you no matter what. This old friend has seen me at my worst and at my best. We could literally talk about anything. However, we would always get into an argument and just drift apart for a few months. The most recent drift was for almost two years. I think the only reason why I still let this friend come back is not only due to comfort, but because they challenge me like no other. Plus, who they are always makes me feel comfortable, even when they say things that would make me mad beyond words, but the word they spoke would never be things that would make me question how he felt. When he came back I asked him why he came back, he said he just wanted friends. Honestly, I was ok with that. I thought I would want more, however because I am trying to figure things out in my life, I realized its ok to not have expectations when people come back into your life. Never forget the lessons, but just the person run their course. I know some may say to speed them along, but I don’t know how to do that. I am going to let time take its course, take my time during this test and smile.

Am I Enough

No matter what comes in life we can sometimes question if we believe that we are enough. We question if we are enough to truly go forward in life with our goals. I know I doubted myself am times when it came to start this blog or even when it came to accept new things coming in my life. Earlier this week my friend sent me a Goal Post video of Adam’s Roa spoken word about being enough. One part of the talk that is sticking with me as I write this blog post because it spoke to me in a way that I had not expected. He told a story of how when he was reaffirming one of his friends of the great things she is as she was pointing out her flaws. She reminded him to make sure that he also speaks life into himself just as much as he does to her. This was important to me because many times I can encourage so many people that I forget to encourage myself and begin to question myself. The video helped me to realize that I am enough no matter what I decide to do. I am perfect in my own perfections and that’s what helps the world to function. If your reading this blog entry know you are enough and smile. Also, do not forget to to encourage yourself as much as you encourage others.

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The video link is  posted below. Please feel free to share your thoughts and subscribe.

 

 

 

 

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt5_3cbo31I

Parental Controls on Dating Sites

Recently I was laying in bed on my phone and I was feeling lonely. Then I felt a part of me naturally getting ready to get on a dating site. I have nothing against dating sites however, I have not had the best of luck with them no matter how long I stayed on them, I would always attract men who did not want the same things I wanted. I was looking for something long term, they would claim to be looking for something long term but only desire something for the night.

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I stopped myself from downloading the dating site. I even took it a step further by putting a parental control block on my app store because I realized several things about me constantly getting on dating apps and not keeping them long. The main reason was I was only doing this out of boredom. I just wanted someone to talk too, which is not a good reason to create a dating profile. Some may disagree which is fine, but for me my experience has always lead me to attract people who wanted the opposite of what I wanted. I also realized that in the past seven years I have not gone a year without creating a dating profile. I am challenging myself to go one year without creating a dating profile just to see what it would be like. Even though I am an introvert by nature and online dating would be ideal because it allows me to cut off people without having to meet them, it’s hard when some of the men lie to get to meet me. I am not planning on getting into a relationship, but I want to prove to myself that I can fill that void with so much more.
I’m not online dating for a year. I want to challenge anyone reading this to put a parental control on a void filler and smile.

Hit the Road or Have a Family?

     I usually do not write two travel post back to back, however I saw a post in a social media group that I wanted to write about because the question was interesting. The question was “Has anyone here chosen the road over having a family/child? If so why?” Some of the responses from the women in the group were that they traveled with their children. Other women who did not have children said that the road chose them or that they did not want to have children. As a 23-year-old, it made me think of did I want a family or was I following societies expectations of what I wanted.

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                After spending a few days thinking about it, I’ve decided that for now I’m just going to live in the now. Continue to travel and just enjoy life and doing things on my own terms. For so long I have been doing things the way that other people wanted and when I’m traveling I feel like it’s all about me. Now, I do hope to get married and have children when life determines it’s the right time. I hope that me and my future husband are financially and physically able to travel the world with our children. However, I can admit that should the road take over my life and I do not have children/meet my partner I would be ok because everything has always happened for a reason.  One of my favorite YouTubers always says that your marriage is only as good as your single season. So, I am going to continue to fill my singleness with travels and just prepare to travel with my family when the time comes because once my family comes there may not be as many solo trips (I will be traveling at least once a year solo).

 Please feel free to comment your thoughts on the question and be sure to smile this week.

Can a Destination Change You?

Last week I returned from Belize. I honestly had one of the best weeks of my life. Belize is my fourth country that I traveled solo too, but there was something different about this trip. Prior to me going to Belize I knew this trip was going to be different and to be completely honest it was. The question that I am going to attempt to answer is “can a destination change you”. If you look at travel bloggers you will find that many of them have gone to many places and have “found themselves”. In my case, every time I have traveled to another country I felt the real me coming out. I see the confidence and me wanting to try so much more. Plus, I enjoy the energy rush that comes. But what I have been thinking is have I changed, or is the true Khadijah coming out?

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Personally, I think thus far growth has occurred on every trip for me. I feel more connected and centered and have a better understanding of what I want to do with my life. The hardest part then becomes when I return, will I follow through? But Belize for me felt different. In that country i was tested like no way before and I tried so many things I never thought I would do as a solo traveler such as night life (Note: there are plenty of solo female travelers who do night life, it just was not for me at the time). I swam with fish and felt happier than ever. Now that I am back I can honestly say that Belize has empowered me to be able to trust my intuition when I feel things are off and to trust that my feelings about people are right. Have I changed, a little. Is the me I have been suppressing coming out, most definitely and I love it.
I encourage you to go somewhere new whether its domestically, internationally, locally or even to a new street near by to see if you change in that destination or even the process of getting there. Please feel free to share if a destination has helped change you or even the process. No matter what, don’t forget to smile.