Hit the Road or Have a Family?

     I usually do not write two travel post back to back, however I saw a post in a social media group that I wanted to write about because the question was interesting. The question was “Has anyone here chosen the road over having a family/child? If so why?” Some of the responses from the women in the group were that they traveled with their children. Other women who did not have children said that the road chose them or that they did not want to have children. As a 23-year-old, it made me think of did I want a family or was I following societies expectations of what I wanted.

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                After spending a few days thinking about it, I’ve decided that for now I’m just going to live in the now. Continue to travel and just enjoy life and doing things on my own terms. For so long I have been doing things the way that other people wanted and when I’m traveling I feel like it’s all about me. Now, I do hope to get married and have children when life determines it’s the right time. I hope that me and my future husband are financially and physically able to travel the world with our children. However, I can admit that should the road take over my life and I do not have children/meet my partner I would be ok because everything has always happened for a reason.  One of my favorite YouTubers always says that your marriage is only as good as your single season. So, I am going to continue to fill my singleness with travels and just prepare to travel with my family when the time comes because once my family comes there may not be as many solo trips (I will be traveling at least once a year solo).

 Please feel free to comment your thoughts on the question and be sure to smile this week.

Can a Destination Change You?

Last week I returned from Belize. I honestly had one of the best weeks of my life. Belize is my fourth country that I traveled solo too, but there was something different about this trip. Prior to me going to Belize I knew this trip was going to be different and to be completely honest it was. The question that I am going to attempt to answer is “can a destination change you”. If you look at travel bloggers you will find that many of them have gone to many places and have “found themselves”. In my case, every time I have traveled to another country I felt the real me coming out. I see the confidence and me wanting to try so much more. Plus, I enjoy the energy rush that comes. But what I have been thinking is have I changed, or is the true Khadijah coming out?

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Personally, I think thus far growth has occurred on every trip for me. I feel more connected and centered and have a better understanding of what I want to do with my life. The hardest part then becomes when I return, will I follow through? But Belize for me felt different. In that country i was tested like no way before and I tried so many things I never thought I would do as a solo traveler such as night life (Note: there are plenty of solo female travelers who do night life, it just was not for me at the time). I swam with fish and felt happier than ever. Now that I am back I can honestly say that Belize has empowered me to be able to trust my intuition when I feel things are off and to trust that my feelings about people are right. Have I changed, a little. Is the me I have been suppressing coming out, most definitely and I love it.
I encourage you to go somewhere new whether its domestically, internationally, locally or even to a new street near by to see if you change in that destination or even the process of getting there. Please feel free to share if a destination has helped change you or even the process. No matter what, don’t forget to smile.

Dear Wanderlust Side

This week I decided to write my wanderlust side a letter. The reason being I am taking a trip in the next week and I never really talk about that side of me and I think it will be something fun to do.

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Dear Wanderlust Side of Me,
Thank you for finally coming out of me back in 2016. I saw you peeking out many times throughout my childhood especially when your one of few seventh graders who is focused on going to Kenya in college. Plus, I saw you peeking out many times prior to that. How many people do you know would say they would give up a gift for graduation to wait an extended period for a trip? I was thinking about how you have truly taken over, which honestly, I enjoy because you get to be fearless at times with common sense. Each trip I watch you grow and develop into the wonderful woman you have become. I know that you are a part of me, but I see parts of that spirit coming out during the day when I hear you say be bold and don’t let people take advantage of you. Or even when you say enjoy the small moments. Sometimes I wonder if you could just transform and take over. But then I hear you whisper to me that it isn’t necessary for you to completely take over because you are always a part of me and that you will never leave. Finally, thank you for always encouraging me to look forward to new things that will help me to grown not only through travel but through life as well.

Thank you and I love you,
Khadijah

Letting Go

Many times, we hear the words let go and everything will work out. Sometimes when we let go, things tend to fall apart, while at other times things go well. I find letting go to be quite refreshing because it allows you to start over and to show your true self.
This week I was able to let go my fear of not being good enough. For so long I used to believe that when I try something new that I am never good enough, but sometimes it takes others to point out that you are doing fine. This week it took for one of my friends to help me realize that I am supposed to be pursued and not chasing. I had been talking to a guy for over a month and we never met because neither one of us would follow up with meeting and it was almost me planning the days and times we met. I was honestly thinking of letting him go, but I thought that I was overreacting. Then my friend told me to let the guy try and we have not talked since the last time I reached out. That’s when I realized I had to let go. Not necessarily let go of finding the one but letting go the need to constantly must plan things when it comes to my love life.

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I’ve realized that when you let go of the need to control certain things that you can become free to fill your time with things that matter. My message this week is let go of the need to have control and just enjoy life, while smiling.

The Journey

Traveling to everyone is different. I am not only talking about traveling in terms of getting on a plane, bus, train or boat, but i mean the journey through life. So many commercials on tv have quick fixes to life-long problems. Even social media will have advertisements about things coming quickly and that sometimes we forget to enjoy the journey. Sometimes the journey is the best part because not only do we learn so much about ourselves, but we get to truly test our capabilities.

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This week I found myself becoming impatient. I have always been an ambitious person; however, I was and honestly still am frustrated with the process. I remember feeling the same way when I was in college. I wanted the next stage to come quicker. Then I realized I needed the lessons or I would be forever repeating the same lessons. For example, I have an ex who has a great heart however we were toxic for each other. He was never consistent, and I was not willing to love fully. So as one could imagine we had a great deal of problems. Recently we reconnected and had a great conversation. I thought this could be the one for me since this was another go around. However, my intuition told me I was about to go down the same path I did when I was 18, if I continued to talk to him. But in true ambitious form, I ignored it. Now it’s been almost two weeks since I last heard from him. I lost myself and $30 to that person. I was mad at myself because I physically felt that I should not have gone back down that road. However, I was hopeful. There is nothing wrong with being hopeful, but what I learned from this experience is my intuition muscle is very strong and that I needed to go down this road to show myself that you can easily do the same things at 23 as you did at 18. I’m not mad nor do I hate him, but I must close the door on that chapter, to embrace the new one that has been sparked inside of me.
Never believe that the journey you are on is insignificant. Your journey is bound to shape the woman/man you are called to be. The journey at times may suck and may cost you some money however the growth that comes from it will prepare you for your destination. In this case, I will be more prepared to when my future husband comes because I will fully have ingrained in my head that true love requires both parties to pour into each other. Not one party pour into the other and leave the other dry. I am grateful for that stop along this journey. Embrace the journey and don’t forget to smile.

Listening to Others

I believe that we live in a world where either we should tell people are dreams or hold them to our chest and never let them out. That’s what many people are faced with when it comes to talking about their dreams. One of my dreams is to help young women in college because I believe there are not a lot of issues are not being addressed for college aged women. As I begin to work towards building that community, someone said that I cannot only focus on the positive words needed, but I must remember the services that are needed. She was trying to sale something. I created the platform to allow women to come to the group to enjoy positive post and a place to escape their daily school lives. I know young women need services and I am working on creating a list for them, however that one person made me question am I doing the right thing by starting this group? Or am I kidding myself.

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To solve this problem, I had to remember why I decided to start this group for young women. That answer had to be found within and not from anywhere else. Sometimes people will give you their perspective and it is up to you what you do with it. In this instance I took it and decided that I am going to follow the beat of my own drum. Is the group being perfect no, but as long as I willing to learn and help the group grow that is all that truly matters. My advice this week is to don’t be afraid of criticism, however do not let it stop you from living your best life.
So continue to smile and go after your purpose.

Two Rejection Letters

I am happy to say that I finally received two rejection letters to jobs I applied too. Some people may be confused about why I am happy about this, so let me explain. As some people may remember, I graduated back in May and I had been applying to jobs like crazy. From some of those jobs I have not heard anything from, which can honesty be dishearten because you don’t know if you did everything right or offer you any feedback about things to improve on. Plus you can start to feel that you are failing. However, it’s when you get a rejection letter that you feel a sense of closure and that you may have not been ever been given. Also, a rejection just tells you that you are on the right path. I always believed that for every bad thing, something good always follows. So I am going to keep going and not settle. That’s would i would like to challenge anyone reading this, keep going and smile.

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