Hello my name is Khadijah. I am currently a recent college graduate that enjoys reading. This blog is for me to speak on my observations, say things about my travels, talk about books and just for me to express myself in a public domain. If you have any questions please feel free to ask :).
It is honestly so hard not to settle. Settling is not only limited to jobs or relationships but even within activities or day to day life. Honestly, I have considered settling. During my job search, I have just been applying to jobs just because it’s been posted rather than applying to positions I am passionate about. Recent graduates tend apply to jobs that are higher paying, but less soul fulfilling. Many do take the higher paying jobs because of the student loan debt, however personally, I would rather do something I am passionate about rather than in a position that’s draining. Will it take me longer to pay down the loans? Yes. But ill I know that I am truly living a fulfilled life.
This week, I broke the cycle of settling. I will no longer settle for being mediocre. I will not settle on giving up on life and love. I will not settle for what society believes is right, because one shoe will never fit all. I will not settle in my past. I will move forward in my freedom. I will not settle in complicity. I will settle in the present moment, but I will not settle in past actions. I will not settle in negativity but continue to grow in my higher conscience. If your reading this, remember to never settle and smile as you live in your purpose.
For this week in breaking cycles, I want to talk about waiting. Sometimes waiting can be tough. Like many people I want things now and in perfect condition. At times I find myself wanting the success without willing to become uncomfortable for a while. Even when looking for the love of my life, I really do not want to wait because one gets tired of waiting for the right thing, person or opportunity. But this week I learned that waiting is not only inevitable, but once we get what we desired we, at times, tend to want to go back to the wait. What I have learned from so many people is to enjoy the wait.
I remember one summer I desperately wanted a job after my first year in college. I wanted to make money to pay for tuition. I began working the middle of July and have been working ever since. I look back on that waiting period and realize I have never had a period like that off again. Several weeks to just lay around and relax. At times I miss it, but I understand now the importance of enjoying the wait. It is during the times that we wait where we learn about ourselves and learn to appreciate what we have.
Right now, I am waiting for the right full-time opportunity and until then I will continue to work and gain the skills I need for the right time. The wait can be boring and annoying; however, I have learned a lot about me during the preparing season, rather than the harvest. This week I challenge anyone reading this to grown during your wait season and smile during the process.
Breaking a cycle is difficult, however it is truly necessary because for us to truly grow. Apart of true growth, I consider being able to talk to someone you may have not been able to talk to in the past, without feeling hurt. Now, I am not promoting talking to toxic people. In this case, this person has truly helped me to grow in more ways than one. Usually, we would never really have time to sit around and talk because we had a lot of things going on. But this week I am glad that me and he had the chance to sit down in a park and just talk for over 2 hours. The reason I would say this is breaking a cycle is because as a society we have been accustomed to just talking to people on our phones or on the computer. It felt nice to sit outside in the cool temperature and just talk about life and have great laughs. Even though some people may have been annoyed from the laughter, one cannot live their lives according to what others want. I am challenge anyone reading this to get a friend, go outside on a nice day and just have a conversation. The conversation can be about anything, but we must do more than just being on screen or instant messaging friends.
So many times, we have always followed societies way of doing things. I have learned that sometimes you cannot do societies way of doing things or things will never get done. I know many people who decide that there is a chronological order to accomplish their goals. Sometimes you must get out of order to get in order. When I say this, I mean sometimes you must go against the norm to achieve results. Now I am not promoting anything illegal, however what I am promoting is to go after your dreams no matter how old we are or how much money you have. Sometimes we must learn all the free things before we can begin to pay for things to move to the next level. Sometimes we must start a business before we get a full-time job. Sometimes we must do things that people think is wrong to do things we believe is right.
For example, I wear my hair in its natural state, however I have had it covered in protective styles for about 6 months. I have washed it in between of course. But honestly my hair has wanted to be free and embrace some sun light. My long-term goal for my hair is to wear my curls daily without feeling like they are not worthy of being shown. However, since I am going on vacation in a few days, my mom believes I should have it in a protective style again because then I will not have to worry about anything. Something inside is telling me to just let my hair breath and to take care of it daily. In this situation, the traditional right thing is to listen to my mom. However, I am going to do what feels right. For me what feels right is being a curly brown eyed girl while on vacation with the wind blowing through my hair.
For this week in cycles, I wanted to briefly cover that there is power in your voice. I know I have written about the voice many times, however I always find it amazing when people find their words and express them to the world. This week I am proud to say that I can have reconnected with the voice that I lost from so long ago. In my “former life” I used to hide my voice and shy away from saying/doing things that would cause a “stir”. This week, I am glad that I spoke how I felt. People would usually guilt me into hiding what I had to say. However, this week I spoke unapologetic. There is true power in speaking unapologetic because there are weights being taken off your shoulders and off your hearts by speaking our truths. Thank fully the people around me have been truly receptive to me speaking unapologetic. To me I have not been rude, but rather I spoke from a caring place and not in a defensive matter. I am not saying it will be easy to constantly speak my truth, however I had continued to develop my voice because I never know who will need to hear what I have to say. That’s what I challenge you to do. Develop your voice and don’t be afraid to speak up.
One thing I can honestly say is that sometimes when we are truly being ourselves, a lot can truly happen when you are living in your true reality. This week in breaking cycles, I learned that being myself is much better than being someone else.
There are so many times where I used to wish and hope that I would be like someone I saw online or even like people in my everyday life. I would always see other women and wish I had their confidence. Or I would hope that I had parts of their body types. For some reason I decided to look at me and have a conversation with myself. Am I thinnest person in the world? No, but I am aiming to be healthier. Do I have the confidence of Beyoncé? No, but I do have a genuine spirt and when needed I can fake my confidence. Am I a Millionaire? Well I could marry one, however I am on that path. When I realized how awesome I was, things around me began to change. I started to just feel like me. I know I am not the healthiest person, but I know that I am perfectly ok with being imperfect. It’s our imperfections that makes being who we are unique and attracts the right people. Continue to be who you are and smile.
I am going to try a question of the week this week and hopefully you’ll comment below: What can I do each day to be authentically me?
My response: accepting that am awesome no matter what and that I will grow each day.
This week in breaking cycles is pushing myself. I believe that talked about this a few times. But this week was a little bit different because I found that I was falling back into certain cycles that for at least seven years I have wanted to break. If you had looked back at my past you would see me often allowing people to walk all over me. Most of them I have let go. The few that I still talk to have adjusted to my newfound confidence and understood that disrespecting me is no longer allowed. Lately I have been feeling as though that i have not been pushing myself to my full level. So, I guess the universe decided to test me because this week alone multiple people came back. Typically, years ago i would forgive them and allow them back into my life. However, this time i didn’t allow them to come back. I realized several things by refusing to allow them to come back. The first thing was, I had not allowed myself to fully feel the emotions. I just wanted to get rid of them. I learned that by pushing things back, does not allow the soul to heal. The second thing I learned was about cycles, if we truly want to break the cycle, you must forgive not only the person but yourself while developing new habits. The biggest lesson I learned this week with cycles is you must forgive yourself when you see yourself going back to them. Throughout the week, I saw myself going back to toxic people. Sometimes people never want to admit this but, toxic people can sometimes be comfortable. To me, these people were comfort. However, for the places I am going now, I know they cannot come.
Lesson for week one in cycles: push yourself past the comfort and forgive yourself in the process while smiling.