This week in breaking cycles is pushing myself. I believe that talked about this a few times. But this week was a little bit different because I found that I was falling back into certain cycles that for at least seven years I have wanted to break. If you had looked back at my past you would see me often allowing people to walk all over me. Most of them I have let go. The few that I still talk to have adjusted to my newfound confidence and understood that disrespecting me is no longer allowed. Lately I have been feeling as though that i have not been pushing myself to my full level. So, I guess the universe decided to test me because this week alone multiple people came back. Typically, years ago i would forgive them and allow them back into my life. However, this time i didn’t allow them to come back. I realized several things by refusing to allow them to come back. The first thing was, I had not allowed myself to fully feel the emotions. I just wanted to get rid of them. I learned that by pushing things back, does not allow the soul to heal. The second thing I learned was about cycles, if we truly want to break the cycle, you must forgive not only the person but yourself while developing new habits. The biggest lesson I learned this week with cycles is you must forgive yourself when you see yourself going back to them. Throughout the week, I saw myself going back to toxic people. Sometimes people never want to admit this but, toxic people can sometimes be comfortable. To me, these people were comfort. However, for the places I am going now, I know they cannot come.
Lesson for week one in cycles: push yourself past the comfort and forgive yourself in the process while smiling.