As many people know from one of my previous entries, I have chosen not to date for a year. Through this experience, I have truly fallen in love with myself. I know some may consider this to be conceited. However, I believe by loving yourself, shows others how you want to be loved. In the time that I have chosen not to date I have learned so much about self-love. For me, self-love is treating yourself as though you are the queen/king of the world. When you show self-love to yourself, it gives people the view of how you want to be treated and cared for. Self-love is crucial because as Ru Paul has said, “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” When a person is glowing in self-love, it shows people the type of love you need and deserve.
Self-love is crucial especially, in graduate school. For many years while in school, I can admit now that I did not love myself throughout school. I always put my academics first to neglect the fact that I was trying to hide the pain that I was feeling. However, when you hold things in for too long, the emotions being concealed seems to pour in to everything you are doing. To try to prevent that from happening I would try to find someone else to give me the love that I thought I could not give myself. However, through a lot of trial and error, I know that the void of self-love cannot be filled with anything else. When that space is filled with love coming from yourself, everything around you begin to change and you will feel different.
To me self-love is a day to day feeling that needs to be felt no matter what. For a long time, I lacked self-love for several reasons. However, the main reason was I thought that the love I was missing could be brought by someone else. Little did I know, that was not the love I needed. The love that I was seeking, took my self- esteem and love for myself to a place that I did not even know I was there. I realized how important self-love when I was 18 years old and my then ex- boyfriend (with whom I hoped to get back with) had made me fed up with my emotions not being considered. I decided that I would begin to put me first and make sure that the love for myself was stronger than any love anyone could give me. I am not going to lie, there were times where myself love was low, but then I looked in the mirror and say “I love you and I am sorry for the pain I put you through. Please forgive me” and I hug myself in the process. I say I love you to myself daily and when I start to feel depressed, I say the statement. My advice to you is say I love you to yourself, give yourself a hug, and smile while understanding that the love you have for yourself is better than any other kind of love.