I know I have not written in a while. Mainly because I have been in a state of uneasiness and I honestly did not know how to process everything that was wrong. But I decided to write it out. In the past few weeks school has stressed me out more than I could have imagined. I am behind in all of my classes. A person who I had not talked to in a while messaged me. I have honestly not been focused and have honestly just been passing by. Passing by, to me, is just going day to day with no purpose and just doing what you have to do to make to the next day. None of the things I did had any intentions behind them. Therefore, I just could not bring myself to start writing (well typing) the blog because I did not know what to talk about. Then I could not vent to anyone, which made it harder. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to anyone, it’s just incredibly hard to let that voice come out. I finally felt relieved of this feeling of living day to day by committing a perfect mistake.
The mistake I made was bursting out crying in my colleges library. To me, crying in public was not a good thing because how I grew up one was to never show weakness, but this time I did. I then went to the bathroom and the tears just started falling while I was using the bathroom. Finally, I stopped resisting trying to keep things bottled in, rather I just let the tears fall as needed. After that moment, I began to feel better and started to understand my hearts desires. Sometimes a great cry is what we need to gain the clarity we need to make better decisions. Gaining clarity was the best mistake because I could now face my problem that I had been suffering with since I began my graduate school journey. My problem was that I was not aligned with what I truly wanted. I was focusing on other things that would not allow me to grow. Now every day I write what I’m grateful for. I cannot prevent the bad things from happening, but I can always remember that for every bad thing that happens, something amazing is closely lingering in the shadows. So, do not be afraid to make a mistake. Just remember to learn, grow smile during the process and keep walking down the road even if it is not filled with others. But the journey will be beautiful. Please comment below if you have ever gone through a perfect mistake.