For this week in cycles, I wanted to briefly cover that there is power in your voice. I know I have written about the voice many times, however I always find it amazing when people find their words and express them to the world. This week I am proud to say that I can have reconnected with the voice that I lost from so long ago. In my “former life” I used to hide my voice and shy away from saying/doing things that would cause a “stir”. This week, I am glad that I spoke how I felt. People would usually guilt me into hiding what I had to say. However, this week I spoke unapologetic. There is true power in speaking unapologetic because there are weights being taken off your shoulders and off your hearts by speaking our truths. Thank fully the people around me have been truly receptive to me speaking unapologetic. To me I have not been rude, but rather I spoke from a caring place and not in a defensive matter. I am not saying it will be easy to constantly speak my truth, however I had continued to develop my voice because I never know who will need to hear what I have to say. That’s what I challenge you to do. Develop your voice and don’t be afraid to speak up.
One thing I can honestly say is that sometimes when we are truly being ourselves, a lot can truly happen when you are living in your true reality. This week in breaking cycles, I learned that being myself is much better than being someone else.
There are so many times where I used to wish and hope that I would be like someone I saw online or even like people in my everyday life. I would always see other women and wish I had their confidence. Or I would hope that I had parts of their body types. For some reason I decided to look at me and have a conversation with myself. Am I thinnest person in the world? No, but I am aiming to be healthier. Do I have the confidence of Beyoncé? No, but I do have a genuine spirt and when needed I can fake my confidence. Am I a Millionaire? Well I could marry one, however I am on that path. When I realized how awesome I was, things around me began to change. I started to just feel like me. I know I am not the healthiest person, but I know that I am perfectly ok with being imperfect. It’s our imperfections that makes being who we are unique and attracts the right people. Continue to be who you are and smile.
I am going to try a question of the week this week and hopefully you’ll comment below: What can I do each day to be authentically me?
My response: accepting that am awesome no matter what and that I will grow each day.
This week in breaking cycles is pushing myself. I believe that talked about this a few times. But this week was a little bit different because I found that I was falling back into certain cycles that for at least seven years I have wanted to break. If you had looked back at my past you would see me often allowing people to walk all over me. Most of them I have let go. The few that I still talk to have adjusted to my newfound confidence and understood that disrespecting me is no longer allowed. Lately I have been feeling as though that i have not been pushing myself to my full level. So, I guess the universe decided to test me because this week alone multiple people came back. Typically, years ago i would forgive them and allow them back into my life. However, this time i didn’t allow them to come back. I realized several things by refusing to allow them to come back. The first thing was, I had not allowed myself to fully feel the emotions. I just wanted to get rid of them. I learned that by pushing things back, does not allow the soul to heal. The second thing I learned was about cycles, if we truly want to break the cycle, you must forgive not only the person but yourself while developing new habits. The biggest lesson I learned this week with cycles is you must forgive yourself when you see yourself going back to them. Throughout the week, I saw myself going back to toxic people. Sometimes people never want to admit this but, toxic people can sometimes be comfortable. To me, these people were comfort. However, for the places I am going now, I know they cannot come.
Lesson for week one in cycles: push yourself past the comfort and forgive yourself in the process while smiling.
I am in a stage in life where people are asking me questions I honestly do not have the answer to what you want to do with the rest of your life. Apparently saying I want to marry rich and life off a yacht is not the appropriate answer. Some days I am sure you feel the same way. No one ever tells you that after you graduate that you can sometimes get into a cycle of go to work, come home and watch tv or go out with friends. I don’t mind being with my friends, but I am not ok with “cycles”. To me cycles are circles that we get into and like a true circle it can be hard to break out of without will power. And for the past couple of weeks I have been, unfortunately, I have been a part of that circle. Well, that stops today. For the next couple of weeks, I am breaking the cycle. Each week, I will do something that I would not typically do. I not saying I will climb Mount Everest in a week (maybe in a few). But I do not want to fall into the post graduate school cycle of just applying to jobs and being home. So I hope you stay along for the journey, like, subscribe, share below how you came out of a cycle and be sure to smile at life’s moments
In less than twenty-four hours I am supposed to give a chat to a room of over fifty people. I am honesty not prepared because in true school fashion I have been procrastinating. But I think the reason I am scared to pursue this speaking engagement is because even when I prepare in advance I still do not feel prepared to speak. Speaking for me has been hard because people have always tried to keep me quiet and up until recently that has always worked. When it comes to speaking willingly, it can be hard because when you are used to someone constant silencing you, it’s hard at times to speak up for something that is concerning to you. At least for me it is. However, I have found that when one is passionate about the topic or subject that they are speaking on it can be a bit easier to talk about. I am not 100% sure if talking about something you are passionate about in front of over fifty makes it easier especially if it’s your first speaking engagement.
I always keep in mind when I’m scared one important lesson I have learned throughout my life. That lesson is: sometimes one must operate in fear. Fear can be paralyzing and can sometimes make you want to hide in a corner. However, when you decide to take that jump while your still afraid, it not only gives you a different feeling, it allows you to understand what you are truly capable of. I know many people who will say not to operate in fear, however sometimes that’s what you must do to get to your next level.
If you are reading this entry right now, just know its ok to operate in fear. You will learn several great lessons about yourself and the world. Just remember to smile in the moment. Even if you’re just laughing in the moment can help to release some of the pressure. Doing that can truly put somethings in to perspective.
Please feel free to like and comment if you have ever done something that scared you and how you felt afterwards.
Sometimes time has a way of teaching us that we must think certain things through or appreciate things. Prior to writing this blog I had no idea of what to write. I had been writing for almost the past year about graduate school and my life and I know that I am meant to do so much more. The past few weeks without writing has made me understand why timing is so important. I was not sure about sharing this story but it may help someone other than myself.
About a week ago, I was out with a friend and we were sitting by the water and there was a girl who looked like she was going to jump. However, many people sat like that at this place so I didn’t think nothing about it. As we were preparing to leave, the girl reached out and asked if she could just talk to us. Naturally I said sure because she seemed sad. So, I let her talk for 30 minutes or so and helped her find a few resources. I hope that what I said to her helped. But the reason I say this is because I wonder what could have happened had I not been there at that time. Or had I not realized at a certain time that writing for me has always been my missing piece.
So if your reading this know you are reading this at this time for a reason. Know that everything happens for a reason. Even when things get rough and you feel that you cannot go on and complete a task, know that your feelings are valid at that moment and it serves a purpose. Be sure to smile at that moment too, because someone may need it.
Please feel free to like and post below what if you have ever felt timing in life has played a role in your life.
At the time of the publishing of this blog I will have been out of graduate school for almost a month. While I am true proud of this accomplishment, there is something missing. I am starting to feel like I did when my first semester was going; alone. I know many people will say that being alone is a part of the process and that it is often necessary in order to achieve what you need to do, which to an extent I agree with. But its late at night when you want someone to talk to but no one is there. Someone who I could just rant to for a few hours. It’s hard to get a person, when you are often the person people come to. For some reason my mind goes back to the night when I was crying on the bed and could barely finish my assignment and all I could do was cry. I feel the same way post-graduation. I am starting to believe that there is a void that I have been trying to fill. However, what I have been trying to feel the void with are not the best for my energy levels. I was just happy to fill it with anyone who came my way but honestly quality is better than quantity. I will try to fill the void with great experiences and fun people. Sometimes while I talk to those new people, I may release those negative feelings. Not temporary people but people who care and love me for me. But not forget to enjoy my own company and dance the night away. That what I challenge you to do; dance the night away and know that the rough patch will soon pass.