Dear Wanderlust Side

This week I decided to write my wanderlust side a letter. The reason being I am taking a trip in the next week and I never really talk about that side of me and I think it will be something fun to do.

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Dear Wanderlust Side of Me,
Thank you for finally coming out of me back in 2016. I saw you peeking out many times throughout my childhood especially when your one of few seventh graders who is focused on going to Kenya in college. Plus, I saw you peeking out many times prior to that. How many people do you know would say they would give up a gift for graduation to wait an extended period for a trip? I was thinking about how you have truly taken over, which honestly, I enjoy because you get to be fearless at times with common sense. Each trip I watch you grow and develop into the wonderful woman you have become. I know that you are a part of me, but I see parts of that spirit coming out during the day when I hear you say be bold and don’t let people take advantage of you. Or even when you say enjoy the small moments. Sometimes I wonder if you could just transform and take over. But then I hear you whisper to me that it isn’t necessary for you to completely take over because you are always a part of me and that you will never leave. Finally, thank you for always encouraging me to look forward to new things that will help me to grown not only through travel but through life as well.

Thank you and I love you,
Khadijah

Letting Go

Many times, we hear the words let go and everything will work out. Sometimes when we let go, things tend to fall apart, while at other times things go well. I find letting go to be quite refreshing because it allows you to start over and to show your true self.
This week I was able to let go my fear of not being good enough. For so long I used to believe that when I try something new that I am never good enough, but sometimes it takes others to point out that you are doing fine. This week it took for one of my friends to help me realize that I am supposed to be pursued and not chasing. I had been talking to a guy for over a month and we never met because neither one of us would follow up with meeting and it was almost me planning the days and times we met. I was honestly thinking of letting him go, but I thought that I was overreacting. Then my friend told me to let the guy try and we have not talked since the last time I reached out. That’s when I realized I had to let go. Not necessarily let go of finding the one but letting go the need to constantly must plan things when it comes to my love life.

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I’ve realized that when you let go of the need to control certain things that you can become free to fill your time with things that matter. My message this week is let go of the need to have control and just enjoy life, while smiling.

The Journey

Traveling to everyone is different. I am not only talking about traveling in terms of getting on a plane, bus, train or boat, but i mean the journey through life. So many commercials on tv have quick fixes to life-long problems. Even social media will have advertisements about things coming quickly and that sometimes we forget to enjoy the journey. Sometimes the journey is the best part because not only do we learn so much about ourselves, but we get to truly test our capabilities.

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This week I found myself becoming impatient. I have always been an ambitious person; however, I was and honestly still am frustrated with the process. I remember feeling the same way when I was in college. I wanted the next stage to come quicker. Then I realized I needed the lessons or I would be forever repeating the same lessons. For example, I have an ex who has a great heart however we were toxic for each other. He was never consistent, and I was not willing to love fully. So as one could imagine we had a great deal of problems. Recently we reconnected and had a great conversation. I thought this could be the one for me since this was another go around. However, my intuition told me I was about to go down the same path I did when I was 18, if I continued to talk to him. But in true ambitious form, I ignored it. Now it’s been almost two weeks since I last heard from him. I lost myself and $30 to that person. I was mad at myself because I physically felt that I should not have gone back down that road. However, I was hopeful. There is nothing wrong with being hopeful, but what I learned from this experience is my intuition muscle is very strong and that I needed to go down this road to show myself that you can easily do the same things at 23 as you did at 18. I’m not mad nor do I hate him, but I must close the door on that chapter, to embrace the new one that has been sparked inside of me.
Never believe that the journey you are on is insignificant. Your journey is bound to shape the woman/man you are called to be. The journey at times may suck and may cost you some money however the growth that comes from it will prepare you for your destination. In this case, I will be more prepared to when my future husband comes because I will fully have ingrained in my head that true love requires both parties to pour into each other. Not one party pour into the other and leave the other dry. I am grateful for that stop along this journey. Embrace the journey and don’t forget to smile.

Listening to Others

I believe that we live in a world where either we should tell people are dreams or hold them to our chest and never let them out. That’s what many people are faced with when it comes to talking about their dreams. One of my dreams is to help young women in college because I believe there are not a lot of issues are not being addressed for college aged women. As I begin to work towards building that community, someone said that I cannot only focus on the positive words needed, but I must remember the services that are needed. She was trying to sale something. I created the platform to allow women to come to the group to enjoy positive post and a place to escape their daily school lives. I know young women need services and I am working on creating a list for them, however that one person made me question am I doing the right thing by starting this group? Or am I kidding myself.

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To solve this problem, I had to remember why I decided to start this group for young women. That answer had to be found within and not from anywhere else. Sometimes people will give you their perspective and it is up to you what you do with it. In this instance I took it and decided that I am going to follow the beat of my own drum. Is the group being perfect no, but as long as I willing to learn and help the group grow that is all that truly matters. My advice this week is to don’t be afraid of criticism, however do not let it stop you from living your best life.
So continue to smile and go after your purpose.

Two Rejection Letters

I am happy to say that I finally received two rejection letters to jobs I applied too. Some people may be confused about why I am happy about this, so let me explain. As some people may remember, I graduated back in May and I had been applying to jobs like crazy. From some of those jobs I have not heard anything from, which can honesty be dishearten because you don’t know if you did everything right or offer you any feedback about things to improve on. Plus you can start to feel that you are failing. However, it’s when you get a rejection letter that you feel a sense of closure and that you may have not been ever been given. Also, a rejection just tells you that you are on the right path. I always believed that for every bad thing, something good always follows. So I am going to keep going and not settle. That’s would i would like to challenge anyone reading this, keep going and smile.

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Settling

It is honestly so hard not to settle. Settling is not only limited to jobs or relationships but even within activities or day to day life. Honestly, I have considered settling. During my job search, I have just been applying to jobs just because it’s been posted rather than applying to positions I am passionate about. Recent graduates tend apply to jobs that are higher paying, but less soul fulfilling. Many do take the higher paying jobs because of the student loan debt, however personally, I would rather do something I am passionate about rather than in a position that’s draining. Will it take me longer to pay down the loans? Yes. But ill I know that I am truly living a fulfilled life.

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This week, I broke the cycle of settling. I will no longer settle for being mediocre. I will not settle on giving up on life and love. I will not settle for what society believes is right, because one shoe will never fit all. I will not settle in my past. I will move forward in my freedom. I will not settle in complicity. I will settle in the present moment, but I will not settle in past actions. I will not settle in negativity but continue to grow in my higher conscience. If your reading this, remember to never settle and smile as you live in your purpose.

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Waiting

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For this week in breaking cycles, I want to talk about waiting. Sometimes waiting can be tough. Like many people I want things now and in perfect condition. At times I find myself wanting the success without willing to become uncomfortable for a while. Even when looking for the love of my life, I really do not want to wait because one gets tired of waiting for the right thing, person or opportunity. But this week I learned that waiting is not only inevitable, but once we get what we desired we, at times, tend to want to go back to the wait. What I have learned from so many people is to enjoy the wait.
I remember one summer I desperately wanted a job after my first year in college. I wanted to make money to pay for tuition. I began working the middle of July and have been working ever since. I look back on that waiting period and realize I have never had a period like that off again. Several weeks to just lay around and relax. At times I miss it, but I understand now the importance of enjoying the wait. It is during the times that we wait where we learn about ourselves and learn to appreciate what we have.
Right now, I am waiting for the right full-time opportunity and until then I will continue to work and gain the skills I need for the right time. The wait can be boring and annoying; however, I have learned a lot about me during the preparing season, rather than the harvest. This week I challenge anyone reading this to grown during your wait season and smile during the process.